Humour

Shit, I just remembered that Friday was International Blog Day. I’ll list my five blog choices and their respective descriptions for tomorrow’s entry.

In the meantime, I want to do a brief follow-up to a post I wrote on Monday on 1994 British satire program “The Day Today.” On one of the show's correspondents- Collaterlie Sisters- I mentioned that she:

“heads the finance desk and her ineptitude and bouts of newspeak Tourette's are far too silly. She would make a welcome addition with Jim Creamer who would probably have an aneurism after being 15 minutes in her presence.”

The character is played by Surrey-born Scottish-raised actress Doon Mackichan who has gone on to a more famous role in the all-female sketch comedy program “Smack The Pony” (STP). The program lasted from 1999 to 2003 and showcased Mackichan along with Fiona Allen and Sally Phillips.

Several of the sketches are available online and highlight such things as relationships and spoofs dating agency vids. One of the most uproarious sketches from STP (partly due to its somewhat taboo matter) is entitled “Lesbian Kiss” (video link):

The outtake of the sketch is even funnier! (Video link):

Fantastic humor from across the Atlantic. Is there anything Brits can’t do?

I’m truly sorry but it would've been a wonderful thing

I would very much like to see Morrissey again in concert. Despite having a fantastic time during his performance at the Apollo two years ago I just couldn’t afford to buy tickets for his then-postponed appearance earlier this year at Madison Square Garden. “$75 is far too much even if one is sitting mere inches from the stage”, I said to myself back then.

Thankfully and to my complete surprise he rescheduled several shows including in NYC including five nights at the Hammerstein Ballroom! “Better and smaller venue = lower ticket prices,” I exclaimed to my brothers as I salivated the chance to go see him in late October.

Wrong!

I am hoping that there will be cheaper seats available but if sixty-five bucks is the only price option then count me out. Despite the artist’s supposed admission that he has no involvement in the ticket pricing I just won’t go. It’s a simple mater of economics; for the price of one ticket I can put the money to better use paying the bills at home, for instance.

But that’s the way things have been for me over the past few years; sacrificing many selfish goodies in order to help my family. (For example, I am my mom’s de facto shrink even when I wish to not listen to her problems). It’s a role I’ve learned to accept for quite a while now and I doubt it will change any time soon.

In the end it works out for everyone and that’s what matters most.

“This is the news…Welcome!”

Earlier this month, I posted a YouTube video of Alan Partridge’s guide to the 1994 World Cup. Little did I realize at the time that he really did tape that in ’94 as part of a scathingly satirical faux news program called “The Day Today” (TDT). I was absolutely in stitches after finding several more videos of that program online.

It would be far too easy to compare TDT to more contemporary fare like “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” (TDSJS) but TDT stands in its own right. Despite the fact that TDT was a British program one can easily understand the politicos, trends, and media that they skewer so accurately. TDT is an absolute gem.

One of the segments that most amuses me is the interaction between lead anchor Chris Morris and business dope Peter O’Hanra-Hanrahan. Peter’s mix of hubris and idiocy angers Morris who revels in humiliating him (video link):

Collaterlie Sisters heads the finance desk and her ineptitude and bouts of newspeak Tourette's is far too silly. She would make a welcome addition with Jim Creamer who would probably have an aneurism after being 15 minutes in her presence.

Let’s take a glance at the “currency arse” (video link):

Satire done right can be a thing of magic. TDT certainly proves it.

I will never watch TDSJS in the same light ever again, especially if I substitute John Hodgeman for Peter O’Hanra-Hanrahan.

p.s. If I ever do a fantasy sport thing I will name my team Alf Ramsey’s Porn Dungeon after watching this clip. (Sounds better than Christ’s Chin, in my opinion).

Self help

After chatting with some friends and blowing my gasket a few times this weekend I have come to the revelation that I need to make some major changes in my life. These changes are simple but they will help me immensely in the short and long run. The way I see it is that I will pay some very heavy consequences soon if I do not improve my total well-being in several areas:

BODY

Lately I have not been eating well due to negligence and lack of initiative on my part. “I don’t care eat I eat so as long as I do eat” has been my mantra over the past few weeks and that has stop. Hence, I hope to eat a healthier, more well-balanced diet.

In addition, I used to exercise on a near-daily basis every day for most of the summer but apathy put a halt to that for the mast month. My body has felt heavier and my mobility has been encumbered by excess fat. Therefore, I aim to return to my regular exercise routine in conjunction with dieting.

TEMPER

I have been reverting to an old fault that had plagued me during my darkest days years ago and that was of losing my temper due to trivialities. On Saturday, for instance, I went nuts since I dropped a bit of food and it slightly stained my shirt. Last weekend I drove my brothers up the wall since they did not make a semi-important phone call that was not as urgent as my anger suggested.

Along with not altering myself over little things it is imperative that I find appropriate avenues I which to vent my frustration. Tonight I argued with “the flea” over his irresponsibility balancing work with his social life and my mom and other brother yelled at me to “calm down” almost as much as I was screaming at him. This is the fault that will be the most tricky to solve. However I cannot continue to hold in my emotions despite giving a veneer of calmness.

CYNACISM

For as long as I can remember one of my Achilles heels is that I revert far too often to sarcasm as a tool for defense and attack in conversations. At times it can be done jokingly but ore often that not I interject sarcasm to hurt and injure others. The negative use of sarcasm is something I need to let go of.

Moreover, my glass tends to be half-empty rather than half-full. Such an outlook is not inherently bad except when it leads to an excess of complaining, bitching, nit-picking, and malaise. This is what is going on with me and I didn’t realize it until a few other days ago when an acquaintance confided to me. At the time it was a shocking revelation though in retrospect it was something that I should have figured out on my own. Better late than never, perhaps?

SOCIAL

Apart from chatting once in a while with friends and the occasional e-mail my social life is nonexistent. I had hoped to change that over the summer but that has yet to come about. Hopefully I can drag out one of my friends to catch a film with me on Tuesday night though I need to make a more concerted effort to keep in touch with those that were and continue to be close to me.

I need to go out more often. It’s as simple as that. Of the nine summer concerts I had hoped to attend I eventually ended up going to none! (The reasons why will be examined in a separate post). Yes it’s good that I stay at home to take care of my responsibilities but there’s more to that. Going out is something I must take advantage of especially before the winter weather makes things too difficult.

Much like I’m smart for certain things I need to wise up in other which is why I’m glad that I can acknowledge my faults.

Now the heard part comes in: executing the changes that need to be done and sticking to them.

S.O.M.

I’ve been a fan of the MetroStars/Red Bull New York franchise ever since its inception over a decade ago. In that time, there is an art phrase used by diehard fans to describe the team’s performance over the years:

“Same Old Metro”

Simply put, it is the inevitable letdown/collapse the team suffers after reaching some high point.

There are far too many examples of S.O.M. over the years and include:

• The infamous Nicola Caricola own-goal during the first ever Metro home game.
• The seeming inevitably of a shootout to decide Metros’ first playoff series in 1996…only for Rob Johnson to concede the series-losing PK to DC in the 89^th minute.
• Youri Djorkaeff scoring a second goal to apparently clinch a playoff series in 2006 over the Revolution…only for New England to score 3 unanswered goals in 15 minutes to win the series.
• The chance to extract vengeance against DC a decade later in the playoffs with the series tied 1-1 in aggregate goals…only to have Christian Gomez score with four minutes left in regulation.
• The failed promises from the likes of Ruben Dario Hernandez, Lothar Mattheus, and Alexi “superteam” Lalas.

The list can go on and on, but I bring up the concept of S.O.M. because I’m left repeating that phrase endlessly in my mind after tonight’s cruel 2-1 loss at New England.

It had been one week since what has thus far been the game of the year, if not ever: the 5-4 home win during the maelstrom that was David Beckham’s debut in the NYC area. It was an absolutely magical match to see nearly 70,000 strong at the Meadowlands while each team fought it out. Yes there was a notable contingent of Beckham groupies (*cough* Tom Arnold *cough*) and the defenses for both teams were atrocious but it was an uplifting game that RBNY won. Despite knowing that the next two games wouldn’t be a cakewalk there was the blind faith and optimism that perhaps the team could turn the corner once and for all. Even one point out of those games would've been encouraging.

Instead S.O.M. reared its ugly head during the lifeless effort at DC on Wednesday. (Dear god how I loathe Jaime Moreno).

And S.O.M. showed up once more in tonight’s heartbreak loss at New England after Carlos Mendes’ smashing game-losing own-goal in the 80^th. (With Jon Conway’s complicity, of course).

Normally I’m a bit angry after New York loses. But tonight I feel shell-shocked and numb. The notion that maybe it’ll get better has yet to cross my mind. I don’t know. Perhaps I’m being too pessimistic but once again the specter of S.O.M. got the better of me. I should’ve known better.

Ultimately, I know that a week from now I’ll join roughly 1,000 other fans in watching RBNY on MSG next Saturday. In a way it’s masochistic to keep dancing the same dance but one of these days S.O.M. must go away.

(Assuming that it will, that is).

Sleepy head

I hate feeling stir crazy but that’s how I’ve been for the past week. It’s not that I want to leave my house, but it’s more a case of tossing all my stresses aside. Alas, that won’t happen anytime soon.

So far the summer has been relatively uneventful much like, unfortunately, last year. There’s another ten days or so until Labor Day so hopefully I can make up for lost time.

In the meantime, I have to get a ton of papers ready for Thursday since I have an appointment at the local SSI office. Oh fun!

You go to do what you got to do. There’s little alternative to that.

A proud member of the François Pignon fan club

I’m going to play it lazy tonight by showing the trailer to one of my favorite movies, “Le Diner de Cons” (“The Dinner Game”). It is a French comedic film directed by Francis Veber, and it revolves around a Parisian businessman who finds an “idiot” to bring to a weekly “idiots dinner.’ But in the end it is the “idiot” who turns the tables against his supposed superior.

Naturally the trailer is in French but there’s a fair deal of physical comedy so that can be appreciated in the clip.

Enjoy! (Video link):

Aid to our Peruvian brothers

Image via MSNBC

"It is a denial of justice not to stretch out a helping hand to the fallen; that it the common right of humanity." -- Seneca the Elder

I don't like to toot my own horn (so to speak) but the following is a partial reproduction of a post I wrote up on The Latin Americanist yesterday calling for help for survivors of last week's quakes in Peru:

"You can help provide assistance to Peruvians in several ways:

• Several Peruvian Consulates in the U.S. have appealed for aid to quake victims. For instance, the Consulate in Miami has issued a comprehensive list of items for donation including clothes, medical equipment, batteries, cots, and medicine. Other consulates in areas such as Los Angeles, Chicago, and Atlanta have their own suggestions on how to help and that information can be accessed here.
• A special bank account has been established for direct deposit donations for the recovery effort: “HSBC Bank, USA
  Account Name: Embassy of Peru - Sismo Peru 2007
  Account Number: 389060178
  Routing Number: 021001088”
• Lastly, several well-known international charities have also set up donation funds including the American Red Cross, Oxfam America, and CARE. (More charities donating to rescue efforts can be seen via the Charity Navigator site.)"

Blog Latina Viva has been thoughtful enough to reproduce that post as part of their call for assistance. I'm very thankful for that and hope others can heed their call.

The other day my mom, brothers, and I talked briefly on the destruction and devastation left behind by the earthquakes. We agreed that we will provide a small monetary donation to a well-known charity like Oxfam or the Red Cross. Though we're not completely sure how much it will be we hope that it will provide some tiny solace to those whose lives have been changed radically by the tremors.

It's the very least we can do.

Alexi Lalas - supertool

I bet that smug smile was nowhere near his face after JuanPa's game winner last night (image via this site)

"'If you’re sitting in seat such and such in aisle blah blah blah'– I wasn't paying a lot of attention to the half-time give-a-way echoing over the loud speaker until – 'you’ve just won a brand new Makita tool set.' What? Numerous people in my section were looking around trying to verify with a mirror of confused stares that they actually heard them give a way a freaking tool set. 'Makita, the official Power Tool of MLS.' Huh, funny, I thought that was Alexi Lalas’ title."

--Adam Spangler- soccer aficionado and journalist- who attended Saturday night's RBNY vs. Galaxy match.

His blog- This is American Soccer- is an absolute gem, especially for articles like this one on last night's game.

Quick thoughts on tonight’s Beckham (oops, I mean Galaxy) v. RBNY match

(Image of an overly jubilant Juan Pablo Angel via Metrofanatic.)

* Dammit, this was the type of match that Samuel Jacobo should’ve called on Fox Sports en Español.

* Jozy

Jozy

He is the king of New Jersey!

* Here’s a thought: more Jozy-cam, less Beckham-cam.

* The Galaxy have only won three of fifteen games this season but did not play like it tonight.

* Come back Dema!

* This game confirms that Waterreus ought to be Jon Conway’s backup in goal.

* My favorite ESC moment – when some of them put their fingers over their lips as a gesture towards the Beckham groupies after Jozy’s second goal.

* Thanks Edson Buddle for showing what you couldn’t do during your time with the Bulls – score a goal. Imbecile.

* Becks played a pretty solid game (three assists) despite going scoreless. He fully deserved the cheers from Metro faithful and groupies alike at the end of the match.

* Let’s see how much Kornheiser will pooh-pooh over the match on “Pardon the Interruption” Monday.

* Nearly 70,000 packed Giants Stadium to see the game. Let’s hope that at least one-third of that attendance can be at the final regular season home game on September 1^st.

* I don’t think it’s a good sign when lines of fans leave the stadium shortly after JuanPa’s game winner two minutes from time.

* I cannot wait to check out the headlines out of Colombia praising JuanPa for his stellar effort tonight!

* Jeez I wish I could’ve been a fly on the wall in Alexi Lalas’ room while he was watching his new “superteam” lose.

* Good news: WNBC started their sports report on the news with the soccer game. Bad news: too much focus on Becks. (They didn’t even show Jozy’s two goals!)

* More coverage of the goals and the game by WABC’s newscast, but to say that Angel was “outplayed by the star of the night” Beckham? What?!

* All bitching aside, I missed going to the Si*Se concert at Governor’s Island to watch this match. Mercifully the game was undoubtedly worth the hype and watching it!

* And now the true test of fire – a must win at DC on Wednesday.

Ad break

And now a word from our sponsor via the Reno Sheriff's Department:

"You are a boobie"

Rather than ramble about what's been on my mind I will save some time and space via the magic of the bullet point list:

• My right tricep is still in pain though I've been able to type more easily than yesterday.
• I'm quite nervous since I have to flush my stomach out tomorrow with a number of powders, pills, and the like. (It has to be done due to a delicate medical exam on Thursday).
• Speaking of Thursday, due to the exam I won't be able to head out to the "Tribute to Hector Lavoe" concert that night. Hence, my summer concert list will be a disappointing 0-for-6.
  
• Dammit I still haven't written to any long lost acquaintances/friends/colleagues!
• Compared to last week my agenda is relatively empty; it is a sea of white except fora few small entries.
  
• Crap, I think C.'s birthday is coming up soon. I better find out poste haste and send her a card!
• Lastly, I recently discovered several excellent UPA cartoons from the pre-Mr. Magoo days in the 1950s. This is one of them based on a very short story by James Thurber (video link):
  

The strain of the pain

"Ouch!"

I've been saying that far too often over the past 24 hours.

Unfortunately, I pulled my right tricep muscle last night and reinjured it this morning. Hence, I can only type a few words at a time with my left arm.

I barely got any work done today due to my aching arm and my outing to the doctors' office. Hopefully Tuesday will be much better and more fruitful. I ode having to play catch-up so I'm waking up with K. before dawn, and I'll be reading and researching as he gets ready for work.

Jeez, I better run off to get some industrial strength Tylenol.

The impact on others

As the Brits would say, I am absolutely knackered. Unlike most weekends it ended on high note as I attended the "Jackie Robinson Day" festivities hosted by the Brooklyn Cyclones. It was a blast for many reasons not the least of which was the chance to greet and chat with "the grand dame of baseball" Rachael Robinson.

It's occasions like today's that I feel incredibly fortunate to be alive ad to help carry Jackie's legacy along with thousands of other scholars and alums.


More details on the events at Keyspan Park in tomorrow's post. For now I'm off to bed in in order to be up before dawn. (Off to the doctor's with mom and one of my brothers).

*yawn*

“The blahs”

If only Alka-Seltzer where really this effective there wouldn’t be a need for Ambien, Zoloft, or most psychoanalysts (video link):

Despite Gene Wilder’s advice and Alka-Seltzer’s efficacy in controlling upset stomachs, “the blahs” cannot be cured by two fizzy, aspirin-based tablets. Hence, this is why I try to visit my shrink every two to three weeks.

The filled entry

I suppose one can call it good fortune.

Yesterday I included a photo of my agenda for this week and included the following quote:

“(Note that there are zero entries under Sunday (lower right hand corner) but that should probably change within the next 24 hours).”

It was a guess, but it ended up being a prophetic assumption.

The next morning I received an e-mail from the Jackie Robinson Foundation. It was invite to attend a Brooklyn Cyclones game that will honor the memory of the late baseball player and civil rights activist.

Hence, I will most likely go out this week after a smattering of cancellations:

• Tuesday – Scheduled to go to the Apple Store in midtown with one of my brothers to get his laptop fixed. I cancelled since he had to go to a last-sec appointment.
• Wednesday – Scheduled to attend an evening reception. I cancelled due to the god awful weather.
• Thursday - Scheduled to either go to the B-52s concert or the one at Pier 54 as I had planned in July. Missed both due to continued weather problems.
• Friday – Rescheduled outing to the Apple Store. Cancelled since mom was way too tired to go out. (Therefore, I won’t complain).
• Saturday – Scheduled to run errands at the Colombian Consulate. Cancelled due to insufficient documentation.

0-for-5. This is why I’ll probably head out on Sunday. Enjoy the weather, a good game, and socialize with plenty of people I haven’t seen in years. If not then that’s okay, too. Next week will be another busy one so I could probably use the rest.

Either way, it’s odd how things can change prophetically in the span of a few hours.

Jotting and highlighting

The reality of this past work week is that so many things have occurred that I really should’ve written more frequent and substantive posts. Yet to be honest I’ve not wanted to blog here. The main reason is that I’ve been pulled in so many different directions with my other obligations that blogging here is not been a priority.

Don’t believe me? Here’s a picture of my agenda for this week. (Apologies for the lack of intricate detail).

(Note that there are zero entries under Sunday (lower right hand corner) but that should probably change within the next 24 hours).

It’s been a heavy week but that’s the way it’s been for quite a while now.

And I don’t plan on quitting anytime soon.

Catching up

Today was yet another long day. But I was stuck at home trying to play catch-up. Though Monday I grew tired of being on the road the entire day, today was different in that I yearned to leave the house. Go fig.

Nothing much cheered me up yet one of the best moments of the day was hearing "Summer Sun" by Koop. It's a gas, man:



Wednesday should be a less strenuous day. Work and errands in the day and a reception/soiree at night.

It should all be very good when all is said and done.

Liquid football

Today was a long day on the road. Hence, I'm exhausted now and not in the mood for any ruminations or diatribes.

In the meantime, here's a lovely vid that made me laugh a lot tonight:

Do you have a "foot like a traction engine"?

Not-so-random thoughts while shopping at Costco’s

* How can there be this many cars in the parking lot over an hour before the store opens?* Come to Costco’s! Located in the middle-of-nowhere part of Long Island City right next to Socrates Sculpture Park. (An underrated attraction).

* I’m guessing this would beat having a Wal-Mart in the area.

* I prefer to be slightly off my rocker without stimulants like, say, 32 cans of sugar-free Red Bull. (On sale today!)

* I wonder how many Manhattanites make the trek to this store.

* My fromage dream come true – a three-pound wheel of Gouda!

* There’s nothing more fun than racing my motorized wheelchair down an empty aisle.

* Even in Costco’s you can find the latest Harry Potter tome.

* I can’t believe I just spent ten minutes debating whether to buy the name-brand or store-brand detergents that are the same size and price.

* Dammit where are the free samples of greasy high-sodium delights! At least I can make do with this free coffee:

* Even the workers call the place Cotsco’s aside from two out of every three customers.

* The lone redeeming quality of Costco’s food court – frozen yogurt. (Unlike, say, the pizza):* When all is said and done it’s worth buying about six months worth of groceries at one place (even if it costs us quite a pretty penny and can feed an army platoon).

Equality

Over at the other blog I toil on, I've decided this week to post one video a day of award-winning ads. Thus far, I highlighted this video from a Brazilian newspaper as well as this one from an Argie presidential candidate.

In doing my resarch a few days ago I found the ad seen below. It's from Colombia and it's a simple yet jarring ad on the concept of equality. Is it acceptable to treat those that are not "normal" as such even if it means possibly demeaning them? Shouldn't ones differences be exalted rather than to try to conform to what is acceptable? What would be a universally acceptable definition for "normal?"

These are just a few of the thoughts that have sailed through my mind in the numerous times I've seen the ad. Surely it is the ad's ability to make the viewer think critically that makes it so memorable (video link):