Gone

He's gone.

Uncle Javy's gone.

He wasn't improving at all during the weekend and this morning he passed away.

His entire family here and there are absolutely devastated and I'm certainly no exception to that.

My mind has been dull and unfocused all day. I barely got any work done. I just don't want to do anything until I can stop feeling so numb and helpless.

Yes, life goes on. It was a harsh lesson I learned all to well after my dad suddenly died. But I feel like being in stasis; unmoving, blank, still.

Inasmuch as I want to stay home curled in the fetal position I cannot. I have to go see my cardiologist on Tuesday and find out the results of my stress test. As if I weren't enough an anxiety-ridden wreck now I have to add worry over my health to that.

Most family over there have taken the news relatively well. That is, they're not in hysterics or paranoid. I really hope my grandma can pull through with her emotions and not become ill due to this.

It hurts far too much.

What else can be said but to take things day-by-day, little-by-little.

Adios Javy.