I miss her.
I really miss her.
It has to be the reason why I oftentimes think of her suddenly and without warning.
It's weird because I've had plenty of crushes and "puppy love" situations before, but she has been the only one really felt something significant towards. My cynical voice doesn't believe such feelings would qualify as love, yet my self-doubting voice disagrees with such an assessment.
One thing I would not call it is infatuation since all I have are simple, "what-if" thoughts and nothing more. I haven't heard from her in nearly two years, but I feel no particular rush in communicating with her. Perhaps it would help to send a benign and friendly message though I'm leaning towards allowing Fate to decide our respective courses.
I think that another reason why I've had this longing for her has been since Venegas has politely turned down my invites for a date. (She's been very occupied and recently started a new job). No, I haven't mentioned to her that I wouldn't mind for us to be a couple and it will most likely stay that way especially with my feelings towards the one left behind. (I still haven't figured out a pseudonym for her).
For now I shall continue biding my time and conforming to whatever happens happens. As I've learned a long time ago, often one's best laid plans never come to fruition. Thus, I will keep hoping that a prime opportunity is around the corner irrespective of the odds of that happening.