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Poor blog, how I have abandoned thee!

Why I haven't I written here lately? There are several reasons; for starters, I've gotten the nasty habit of bottling up my emotions far more often then I should. It's one thing to have a calm demeanor yet it's quite another when one acts much to dour and serious as a facade.

A minor part of it is that I've put a little too much effort into the group blog and far from enough on this one. By the time I'm done with the day's posts (along with my many other responsibilities) I'm just not in the right mindset to post here.

(Quick aside - perhaps I should've started a personal Twitter feed. Yet my problem is that I tend to be too verbose in my writing. Thus. staying within the 150 character limit is a little too challenging. Well, for now at least).

In addition, I've been hurt by death and the stress caused by it. I don't wish to get into a lot of detail because there are some mental wounds that have taken far too long to heal. Suffice it to say I need to overcome those hurdles and somehow march on.

Another reason is that I haven't really progressed as significantly as I would've liked. For the most part I've been in a state of stasis while otherwise I've regressed. Not good, my friends. Not good. (I'll get into more detail on that in a later post, I hope).

Furthermore, during most of the calendar year so far I've become weak and have allowed my old demons to get the best of me once again. Over the past six weeks or so I've woken up and tried to recuperate lost time and energy. It may be too late in some areas but I'm going to work hard to make sure any losses are minimal.

So where does that leave me? Introverted, timid, and in a cocoon. To my great detriment I've shunned all my friends, and I've been reluctant to be strong and face my fears and apprehensions. The latter I've begun to change in recent weeks. The former will require a yeoman's effort on my part. But I've got to start somewhere. Hence, this post which will hopefully serve as a symbol of my return to reality and the loosening of the mental chains I've placed upon myself.

Will there be sunny skies ahead or well the dark storm continue? Stay tuned...

Puffy hands

Bloody hell, this poor blog has been way too abandoned!

Unfortunately this past week has been (surprise! surprise!) a very busy one. Yet what's made it worse is that my right hand has puffed up around the knuckles, outer edges of the palm and some of my fingers. It hurts to use it for things like holding utensils and writing; thus, typing has been a great inconvenience.

Thankfully, most of the swelling has gone down especially after I visited my doctor last Friday. She said that it was an "accumulation of fluids" due to my lack of mobility and she recommended that I try to move around more. I've been dutifully heeding her suggestions and they've worked relatively well.

Despite all the work that I've accumulated and that I must tackle in the next few days I'm going to try my best to post here over the next few days. There are far too many issues stewing in my mind that I want to touch on such as this and this. I will try not to write as much as I had in this post though something substantial is better than nothing.

Revisit, reexamine, rethink

To paraphrase the great film director Federico Fellini:

Blogging is like returning to the womb; you sit there, still and meditative in the darkness, waiting for life to appear on the screen.

With that said, I feel repentant returning to blog for only the second time in nearly three months. Unfortunately, several responsibilities have taken precedence over blogging here:

1. I was rushed into handing in a few reports for my U.N. "job" in January and I've followed it up a few times since then.
2. I caught the flu in February and it knocked me down pretty hard during most of the month.
3. I preferred blogging here since I enjoy informing others on the news and communicating over important issues.
4. More than anything else, I have been very occupied taking care of my Master's Project with the hope that my dream can come true.

At the same time, I feel comfortable writing in this blog again. For me it is a very handy vehicle of personal expression. As I look back in hindsight as to why I rarely blogged here, I understand that the brief list of rules I made created in November were serving as an obstacle. Along with the aforementioned excuses, the list hindered more than it helped. Hence, I'm tossing out the rules for the next few weeks while I hope to establish more consistent posting here.

I don't want to promise more than I should (like I did here), yet if I play my cards right I'll be blogging here quite often.

Otherwise, I might as well shut this all down and figure out a better format for expression.

The new rules

I’ve finally figured out the new rules for HP after taking far too much time thinking about it. They’re fairly simple and hopefully I can stick to them and make this blog at least marginally more interesting:

1- There will be at least five posts per week.

2- Each of these posts must focus on a different subject and be at least three hundred words long.

3- In addition to theses five posts, there may be one to two additional posts weekly focusing on an interesting video I have found. These posts have no min/max word limit.

4- The new rules shall start on November 19^th.

That’s it. Not much more to say beyond that.

See you later, ladies and germs.

My Five (Final Part)

Crap, I forgot all about finishing this series. I’ll be as brief as possible since I have more immediate matters to worry about such as my stress test Wednesday morning.

Part One here.

Part Two here.

Wednesday June 6^th

That day was relatively simple and mild-mannered until I received a phone call from my former U.N. supervisor after I finished a quick lunch. We talked for quite a while about many things; chiefly the work I did for her roughly two years plus. The main point of the discussion was that she offered me a fantastic deal to return to the report I finished last year and expand on it. The most exciting part was the possibility that it could be published by year’s end! Though I anticipated taking it easy in the autumn and find employment, the U.N. work takes precedence over that.

Now I split most of my time doing thesis work, U.N. re-research, and a spot of blogging here. Yes I have to work twice as much as I had planned for the next six months, but I have faith and hope that great rewards will emerge from great sacrifices.

Thursday June 7^th

I’ll confess that the day was somewhat uneventful; I went to go see my primary physician (he who has the uncanny knack of arguing with my mom every time they should meet. Thankfully, my appointment went well).

To be honest, the most notable part of the day was going out to lunch with mom since we walked nearly a mile in Long island city to chow down at a tiny Colombian joint. The place was full of so many lovely delicacies (e.g. empanadas, rotisserie chicken, three types of homemade soup) that it was hard to pick something small to eat. In the end I had a chorizo, arepa, and small coffee which all hit the spot.

Unfortunately, my camera was out of power which is why the only photo of that day is the one above. Hastily taken, it was snapped as I was showing my mom some pastries I found on the counter.

Now I have this stress test in about 12 hours to preoccupy my mind though I’m not overly worried about it. I just hope it works out and will eventually indicate my heart function.