The benefits of benevolence

I've been a wreck for the past few days. Mourning and being nostalgic for my father doesn't usually brighten my spirits. Much like last year I try to live without regrets and move forward little buy little. Yet the pain from dad's death as well as 9/11 continue to hover like a fog in my mind.

One of the many lessons my dad taught me is never take things lying down and to always fight for justice. For the most part it has its advantages in that I've learned to try to be virtuous and become a more independent person. The downside to which I fall trap of is that I sometimes cross the thin line between being correct and being bullheaded.

head of the household since his passing away. In doing so, I've taken up a multitude of responsibilities that have been thrust upon me. It's a role I take great pride in doing even in those rare occasions that I Yet my main point is that he was wise in telling me his advice since I've become the de factowould not like to.

My ultimate hope is that when all is said and done I've done an extraordinary job not necessarily for my sake but for my family and loved ones.

I am certain he would not have wanted it any other way.

Feliz cumple viejo!

Today would've been my dad's 61st birthday. Thus today was a day full of melancholy, nostalgia, and remembrance.

Despite having such a conflicted relationship in the last year of his life, I still miss him dearly and wish he was still alive. Reality is another issue, however, and I have long ago accepted the cards I have been dealt with.

This is a video of one of my dad's favorite songs; an absolutely stirring tune that does justice to his memory (video link):

Heavy hearts

Today I was going to write yet another post on mundane minutiae but the shooting today at Virginia Tech put a stop to that. No matter how down I may’ve felt over the past few days it is only a scintilla of the suffering and sadness that families and close friends of the victims must be feeling. I cannot bear to imagine how anyone can have their mind(s) so warped that they feel the urgent need to indiscriminately murder innocent people in cold blood.

Tragic. Utterly, truly tragic.

May all the victims rest in peace, and may we properly reflect on what occurred today.

“Denial” isn’t always a river in Egypt

I have just sent to several of my closest friends a message that has taken me months to formulate. After I returned from Colombia in January one of the messages left on my answering machine was of the death of a very dear and amazing teacher I had in elementary school. I have not been as tough as I used to when dealing about matters related to death which makes writing the message so much more difficult. It hurts too much to fathom that she’s gone and I don’t wish to imagine how my friends react to the grave news I will tell them. However I must be responsible and deal with it and do the honorable task of informing them.

I regret not having the willpower to have called him, especially since my answering machine doesn’t have his message anymore.

I just don’t know how I will come to grips with this.