Happy birthday dad

To rephrase this song:

Pain, pain fatal pain

It plays hideous tricks on the brain

Today was my fathers’ birthday. Had things gone ideally he would’ve been 62 years old and starting to enjoy retirement. Instead, he’s been dead for nearly three years and his remains are in a cemetery in a small Colombian town.

I want to say so many things; chiefly I wish I could lash out for his passing away and to let go of all the sadness and misery I’ve bottle up regarding his death. Yet for the sake of my family’s unity and progress (especially my mom’s sanity) I continue to look out for them more than me and I try to help them trudge forward.

It is this sacrifice for others which embodied my late father and that followed him to his last moments. (When he died he had been sweeping the floor and doing some light cleaning despite needing the rest after a ridiculously hard week at work. He didn’t have to do it and he was physically beat, but he wanted to neaten things up for us).

A quick anecdote: many years ago I was conversing with my dad. I asked him if he had such such a wonderful job, increased income, and was constantly surrounded by family in Colombia then why did he leave it all behind to start from square one in the U.S. His reply was simple: “I did it for you and your brothers.” Naively I couldn’t comprehend what he was saying; it seemed irrational that he would leave behind the cusp of his youth and so many things that gave him joy and satisfaction. He wanted to provide his future wife and kin with the freedom that he knew they would enjoy. His life in the U.S. was filled with obstacles especially in the first few years but he derived joy from our comfort and well-being. It was a concept that at the time seemed alien to me.

Yet in the many months since his passing I’ve grown to truly appreciate his words and the impetus behind them. His unselfishness and care for others was his legacy and it is something my brothers and I try to carry on. His memory and spirit will continue and hopefully grow in the upcoming years. He deserves it as he rests in peace from the heavens above; pleased, happy, and looking down upon us.

Manu is the man!

It's been a looooooooong time since I've written here. Why such a delay? The usual suspects are to blame (e.g. thesis, "work") though my health has been kind of iffy lately. Thankfully I've been working harder in order not to be swamped and playing catch-up. The toll is that blogging here and even there has taken less of a role. I had to readjust my priorities and in doing so blogging dropped down several rungs of the ladder.

So why am I blogging tonight even though I'm supposed to wake up in five hoursand I could really use the rest? Just to wish a very happy birthday to Manu Chao and because his music has helped pick me up when I need a quick boost late at night or in the pre-dawn hours. Just watch this and perhaps you'll see what I mean:

p.s. Apologies for the terribly corny post title!

Happy birthday guys!

In the fifteen or so minutes remaining today I want to wish you guys a very happy and joyous twenty-fifth birthday. Despite the quarrels and disagreeents we may have I am very proud of having you both as my brothers. I wouldn't change it for the world and I sincerely hope your future is bright and that all your dreams can come true.

All corny mushiness aside I hope you both enjoy these videos:

Feliz cumple viejo!

Today would've been my dad's 61st birthday. Thus today was a day full of melancholy, nostalgia, and remembrance.

Despite having such a conflicted relationship in the last year of his life, I still miss him dearly and wish he was still alive. Reality is another issue, however, and I have long ago accepted the cards I have been dealt with.

This is a video of one of my dad's favorite songs; an absolutely stirring tune that does justice to his memory (video link):

Feliz Cumple, Abuelita!

No excuses folks. I promised yesterday to write about what happened to me while I was on the road last week but I never did. Maybe I'll write something up tomorrow, though knowing me I might not.

However, I'm in bright spirits today on account of my grandma's birthday. She celebrates 86 years of life and has always been a source of inspiration for me. All her life she resided in La Palma, Colombia (which I somewhat described here), and she has an inner strength that few can imagine. She is the quintessential doting grandmother with her family and is a pillar of unity amongst us. Sadly, age has sapped much of her physical strength though she tries to be as independent as possible. I sincerely hope that I can see her alive the next time I travel over there (whenever that is).

In reminiscing of all the good times with Grandma, I remembered the Bill Withers' song called "Lovely Day." She can be tough at times but for the most part she is one of the kindest, most generous people I've been fortunate and blessed to know. She has the uncanny knack to turn any day into a lovely day, and thus I wholeheartedly dedicate this song to her: